Comfort food, y'all

Sorry about the delay between posts... Summer is getting away with me! But, here goes:

So, I'm sitting on my couch with my laptop in front of me and The Food Network on the TV. Whenever I flip through channels and see that Paula Dean happens to be on, it is one of my favorite default go-to shows. If you have ever watched her show or know anything about her, you know that she LOVES butter. Lots of it. And sugar. And everything that makes food delicious that we don't want to admit is in it. And she say's "y'all" a lot. There is just something about her cooking that is enticing- laid back, fun, comforting, and of course delicious! She makes you feel like you are right there in the kitchen with her and that if you just took a bite of that cookie she just pulled out of the oven, all the problems in the world just melt away. It's like a hug in food form.

Comfort food. We all have our version of it. Sometimes its the edible kind. Fettucini alfredo. Fried chicken. A gooey chocolate chip cookie. Sometimes it's taking a walk with a friend when it's cool out. Sometimes it's a trip to the mall. Sometimes it's a pedicure. Sometimes it's allowing yourself to get into bed just a little bit earlier to get lost in a book and drift to sleep. Whatever helps us feel soothed and secure. Comfortable.

When life's challenges show up- either the day to day kind or the really big, out of the blue kind- finding the comfort food we need can make all the difference in the world. We know what we need to make us feel safe and loved. And when take care of ourselves, we not only feel better, we think better. We are able to maximize our ability to do whatever problem solving we need to do to take the next step, whatever it is.

So, when your kids are having a hard time, maybe it's not a harsh tone or a "what were you thinking?!" type approach that best will get the desired result (obedience/"good choices"). Maybe a chocolate chip cookie and a hug will help them to come up with a positive conclusion.

Some of you are probably thinking that sounds pretty "kum ba yah" and like letting a kid get away with murder. That's not what I'm talking about. Kids still need to know the difference between good and not so good choices. And you can talk about it. What I'm saying is put yourself in the kid's shoes sometimes and consider what kind of decisions you make under pressure vs. when you feel safe and loved. Like when you get your comfort food.

Chances are, you'll pick the comfort food route. And they'll probably share some with you the next time you need it.

Stay cozy,
Lillian and the CCC team

Are extras really extra?

When we spend a little extra time with a child who needs longer to connect, when we spend some extra time outside on a beautiful day, when we put a few extra art pieces up to decorate a room, when we add music to a transition, or movement to a song, when we give an extra hug... is any of that really extra?

When we talk about regulation, we identify that every person has a set of needs that is different than the next person. So naturally, everyone needs different amounts of different things in order to maintain optimal functioning.

Some kids (or people in general) need a little extra quiet. Some like extra noise. Some need extra cool down time. Some need extra patience. Some need some extra... [fill in the blank].

Consider what "extra" really means to you. What might be extra for you just might be perfect for someone else. 

Many times, children will tell us what they need- if not with their words, with their actions. The tough part is when they need more guidance and they think what they need is freedom. This is where the power struggle comes in. Nobody wants extra of that.


So how do we go about it when our ideas of what is "extra" in that moment are very different? This is where we meet the child where she is, reflect what she thinks she needs, identify the barrier, and let her know what is an appropriate solution. 
 Sometimes a little extra teaching means a LOT of extra learning.


Has anyone ever given you "extra" of anything that helped you out? Or, have you ever done a little extra for a child that went a long way? Please share!

Thanks,
Lillian & the CCC team