Are extras really extra?

When we spend a little extra time with a child who needs longer to connect, when we spend some extra time outside on a beautiful day, when we put a few extra art pieces up to decorate a room, when we add music to a transition, or movement to a song, when we give an extra hug... is any of that really extra?

When we talk about regulation, we identify that every person has a set of needs that is different than the next person. So naturally, everyone needs different amounts of different things in order to maintain optimal functioning.

Some kids (or people in general) need a little extra quiet. Some like extra noise. Some need extra cool down time. Some need extra patience. Some need some extra... [fill in the blank].

Consider what "extra" really means to you. What might be extra for you just might be perfect for someone else. 

Many times, children will tell us what they need- if not with their words, with their actions. The tough part is when they need more guidance and they think what they need is freedom. This is where the power struggle comes in. Nobody wants extra of that.


So how do we go about it when our ideas of what is "extra" in that moment are very different? This is where we meet the child where she is, reflect what she thinks she needs, identify the barrier, and let her know what is an appropriate solution. 
 Sometimes a little extra teaching means a LOT of extra learning.


Has anyone ever given you "extra" of anything that helped you out? Or, have you ever done a little extra for a child that went a long way? Please share!

Thanks,
Lillian & the CCC team